You're All that I ever wanted
by btrfanfiction1516
Summary: James had an addiction,it wasn't drugs, or alcohol. It was something else, something unique, it was Addison, his addiction to the girl had no guilt. No pain. No fear. No sadness. No panic. No chaos. Nothing. It was his perfect addiction.Somewhere along the way he looses her and gains a new addiction.No matter what it may be an addictions is an addiction - and it all hurts the same.
1. No place to go

This was originally "Christmas kisses"...but I stopped writing the story..soooo I'm making it into a knew one mwahahahah review lovlies

* * *

_James:_

I close my eyes as I press the ice pack against my face, making it sting as the coolness slowly seeps in slowly.

"You should probably keep that on your eye until the swelling goes down." David says, taking a seat in front of me as we sit in his office.

I don't answer him; instead I just nod my head knowingly.

"Are you going to tell me why you have that black eye and the reason you slept in your car?"

I open my good eye to see David staring at me, waiting for me to answer him. There was no point in trying to make up another lie for it, nor would I even if I could. The guy may be in his late fifty's but he wasn't born yesterday. He always had a way of knowing if someone was really telling the truth or not, and at the moment I hated the fact he knew I was lying.

"I don't know what to say," I say, feeling tired all over again.

"Okay, I'll ask some questions. Please tell me the truth," David says before taking a gulp of his coffee, "What happened to your face?"

I slowly take a breath before answering. "My dad and I had a disagreement .We got into an argument because he says I don't help out enough around the house, and he got angry. He started calling me he told me it was my mom's fault, because she didn't raise me right. When he started saying horrible things about her I finally told him to shut up. That's when he hit me."

"I think you'll find as you get older that being an adult doesn't mean you automatically have all the answers. We're all still learning, and none of us are perfect." David begins to say, "Has your father ever hit you before?"

"No," I tell him, fumbling with my fingers in my lap. "It doesn't fit his picture perfect family image."

"What happened after that?"

"He gave me 45 minutes to pack and get out of the house. Luckily the car is in my name, it was a gift from my Aunt before she passed away. I didn't know where else to go last night," I say, resting my head in my hands. ""Please, just let me handle it," I add, even though I knew it wouldn't do any good.

"Call me by eight so I know you've had something to eat and a place to go." He tells me.

"Okay, I'll call you when I figure it out," I say, gathering up my bag.

David came around the desk and put a hand on my shoulder for a brief moment, "You don't have to do this alone."

"Thanks," I say.

I walk out of the office to be met by Kendall, one of my closest friends, and also a co- worker.

"Shit man, what happened to your face?" Kendall looked angry and I wondered if I should try to make a run for it. I couldn't really get any words out.

"You're still kind of tiny and nobody should be picking on you," Kendall says. It took me another minute before I finally registered that Kendall was angry for me, not at me.

"Can we maybe talk somewhere else?"

"Yeah, come on," Kendall says and I followed him back to the small room filled with a desk.

"You don't look too good," Kendall tells me, as he pulls two bottles of water out of the mini-fridge in the corner and handed one of them to myself.

"Alright, you're here, start talking buddy."

"The short version is that my dad kicked me out. David found me sleeping in my car this morning and gave me the day to figure things out. If I can't find somewhere to go I'm over,"

It looked like Kendall was thinking and then his eyes narrowed, "So, your face? Your dad did that?"

I just nod.

Kendall shrugs and looks at me closely like he was trying to figure something out, " Wow, I'm...I'm sorry, but one a good note, I was uhm, talking to Carlos last night, and he said he didn't even know why Addison broke up with you. Do you know what I think?"

I looked up at him and waited. how the hell was that on a good note? I thought.

"I think she had some stupid idea about being all noble letting you go. Which by the way makes you a total idiot." Kendall tells me.

"How..?"

"How do I know? Well, for one thing your eyes have barely left the picture of Addison on this desk. Logan told me last week that you haven't even smiled at another girl. Carlos says you ignore the texts from that one chick who still wants to get in your pants. That gives me a pretty good idea that you are still in love with my best friend. That leaves me trying to figure out why she would dump you, and I can't really think of another reason," Kendall explained looking proud of what he'd figured out.

I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't. Kendall could really read people.

"It doesn't matter. I'm living in my car. Your pointless attempts at fixing my love life will have to wait, " I say trying not to get too frustrated with him.

"That's perfect! You can come and stay with us and then talk to Addison when she comes home after visiting her parents!" Kendall seemed to think it was all that simple, but I wasn't even sure I had the courage to see her again.

"I don't think that's going to work. Addison isn't going to let me stay, I just have to figure this out on my own," I tell him, getting up to leave.

"You don't get it. You don't have to do this by yourself. We're all still part of a team, we're all best friends, well use to be, hell. At least come home with me and eat dinner, you probably haven't eaten all day. We'll talk to Logan and Carlos about it also considering they share the apartment with us," Kendall tells me. I didn't really want to argue, I was hungry and tired and more than a little sure Kendall might be right about me being an idiot.

* * *

I followed Kendall back to the shared apartment and parked across the street. Other than the snow it looked exactly the same as when I'd last been here. I couldn't keep my eyes from drifting to the second window on the left, which I knew was Addison's bedroom.

"He followed me home, Carlos. Can I keep him?" Kendall asked with a snicker.

"Whoa, man!" Carlos says, running up to me to give me a hug a hug.

"It's so great to see you!" Logan adds, giving me a slap on the back.

"I got into an argument, and things got out of control," I tell the two.

Kendall just snorts, "His father hit him and then threw him out."

I give Kendall a glare, than give him the middle finger. After less than five seconds we're all laughing at the whole thing.

It was nice to actually have a smile on my face, a real one for that matter, and friends, true friends. Ones I knew who would always be by my side through hell and back. And if I didn't know any better I'd have to say hell was just beginning to start because soon I saw the face I've been dying to see since we broke up three months before, the face I loved to see waking up by me first thing in the morning. The face I couldn't get out of my mind. Addison's face.

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**Next chapter will be in Addisons POV** (:

**Please leave a review! anon or not I LOVE HEARING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! New chapter will hopefully be up tomorrow can't wait to read the reviews!**


	2. Surprise!

**_THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS! MAKES ME HAPPY KNOWING YOU REALLY LIKE THIS STORY!I hope to see some more reviews after you read this chapter! Much love (:_**

* * *

Addison:

Chills were running through the house in and out of my living room like a quiet ghost silently coming and silently going as I lie awake on the couch going through my facebook news feed. Another rush of chills ran up my back as I shudder from the cold. I looked over at my non-lit fire place, as if it was screwing with me. I'm twenty-two years old and I still have no idea how to get one of those things started, I always made James do it. He tried to teach me last year, but I didn't really pay much attention. And now, a year later, karma has decided to be a bitch and let me freeze_. "Two more days and I'll be home." _I tell myself over and over.

Freezing rain was coming down again –the kind of icy rain that stings like hell against your cheeks. I was convinced that it was coming down just to spite me. If it hadn't been so cold and nasty out, I wouldn't have taken skates to school (Yeah skates are band from my collage stupid, I know). If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have gotten suspended, and Cathy would have had no reason to give me that look of hers. I might not have been so desperate to turn the day around by getting Jason to ask me out. I could have just gone living a little while longer in the hope that he'd ask me out sooner or later.

This day sucked, a lousy, crappy, soul-sucking, very bad day.

I had really thought Jason would go out with me. He had probably just been toying with the idea of dating someone like me so that people would see us together and say "Wow, he's going out with someone who looks like that? He must be really open-minded!"

Dick.

And the day hadn't finished sucking yet. Driving home from the airport in the sleet was going to be a pain in the neck, and the way my luck was going, I'd slide off the slippery road, the car would flip over, and the fire department would end up hosing what was left of me into the river along with the dirty slush.

I shook my head and tried to file all my misery into its own compartment so I could focus on driving. Then I turned the key in my ignition, and, as I should have guessed, nothing happened.

The engine didn't even try to start.

Ten minutes went by, and the car still wasn't starting. Not even sputtering, like it usually did when it was stalled.

I was about to pull out my phone and call for a ride when the dashboard lights turned on and the radio blasted to life playing some N*sync song. The snow was flying in the wind, as the temperature dropped, with the clouds hanging overhead, the day melted into night.

* * *

I was so glad to finally be home again, I never enjoyed plane rides, especially during the holiday season, because the airport is always crowded and busy. All I could think about was getting home and going straight to bed.

I turned the key that led into the apartment, shaking off the remaining snow that was clung to my boots and coat.

"Guess whose back!" I yell through the home, as I set my belongings on the table. "_I'll worry about those later _" I tell myself, heading into the living room to see where everyone was.

"Hey Add." Kendall says, putting a hand against the living room door frame, pretty much blocking my way.

"Uhhh, hi Kendall." I say, my voice filled with suspicion.

"So, how was your trip? Did you have fun? How was Kansas? How's the family?"

I was a little taken back by his sudden questions. I knew something was up by the way he sounded.

"Everything okay Kendork, you seem a little-"

"NO! I'm fine..it's uhhm, uh- Oh hey did you see the tree in the lobby, we should go look at it eh?"

"What are all the duffle bags for?" I ask him, as I see them setting up right against the wall.

"There, uh, James's. . . . actually." He says slowly, keeping his gaze on the ground. "He's having a few issues at home." He continues.

"So you told him he could stay. . .here?" I respond, not believing what I was actually hearing at the moment.

"What was I supposed to say?"

"You should have said no."

"And what, Leave him on the streets of New York?

"How could you just make such a huge decision without my say in the matter?" I yell, not caring who heard me.

"It's both of our apartments, remember? It also so happens to be Logan's and Carlos's."

I shake my head and roll my eyes annoyingly, thinking back to when all four of us through about renting a large apartment and splitting the payments in fourths. We all thought it was a good idea because the apartment itself was large, and us being best friends and practically doing everything with one and other was just another reason we thought sharing a five bedroom apartment was the greatest idea ever.

"I know it might be awkward at first for you because of the whole break up and everything, but we have to do this for him Addison. His parents kicked him out and the guy has nowhere else to go, and plus, relationship aside, he's been friends with you and everyone else here since we moved to New York." He says, putting his hand on my left shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

I knew having James here wasn't going to be the greatest thing in the world, but as much as I hate to admit it, Kendall was right. I need to forget about the ex-boyfriend James and focus on the caring, sweet, sensitive funny best friend James that we all know and love.

I open my mouth to protest, but I shut it immediately. "Alright, he can stay," I tell him, ending our small argument.

* * *

"Thanks," A voice murmured from behind her.

The look that was shown upon my face was probably not one of happiness, rather with surprise maybe even sadness. I could vaguely hear the sound of my heart skipping a beat when I heard the voice behind myself that I had missed dearly. Spinning around to see his face. I had to be sure he was really standing there. A small smile instantly lit up my face when she saw him. _Those brown eyes._ I thought to myself, I had missed seeing those almost as much as the brunette guy himself.

" Hey," I simply say, biting my lip when I suddenly realize the grin on his face matched mine.

James took a step towards her but hesitated, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck with a saddened expression. "H-how have you been?"

His voice cracked and my heart nearly broke all over again, fighting the burning at the back of my eyes as he held his arms open for me, soon I was wrapped in his embrace for the first time in god only knows how long it was.

I couldn't believe I'd almost forgotten just how perfectly he fit there, and just how incredibly it felt to have him wrapped around me like that. After a moment we simultaneously pulled away to look at each other up-close.

I couldn't look at those piercing eyes anymore; my heart couldn't take another second of it. Without a word I silently turned away and headed towards the stairs. Each step I took up the stairs was another step farther away to the person I wanted to be closer than close to, each step brought a number of memories we had mad in the past, every sound of my feet hitting a new part of flooring a tear would slip from my eyes and onto my cheek.

* * *

_James_

When I finally awoke, reality was still dim around me even though it was just past ten o'clock. There was no sound but the soft whoosh of the heater that was sitting in the corner by one of the dressers. I roll over in bed, looking out the window at the sun glaring over the tops of the buildings. The waves of coldness enveloping the city didn't touch me. I begin to notice where I feel asleep, I had fallen asleep in the room that had once, many months before, been Addison's and my own, a sanctuary of hushed and refined serenity. Addison had decorated it herself in tones of purple-grey and silver white, and it's the room that most reminds me of what we used to have. Feeling some-what stiff from my long sleep, I sit up as I stretch my arms out in front of me, letting a groan escape my lips as I do so. Swinging my legs out of the large king sized bed I shuffle my feet on the carpeted flooring and walk out of the room that Addison and myself had made so many memories in and walk down the hall and into one of the two bathrooms that were on the second floor. I strip down and let the clothes fall where ever onto the cold tiled floor before stepping into the shower, letting the hot water cascade freely over my skin hoping that that just like the water, the memories of Addison would slip away and down the drain. But to my dismay I find myself slipping from reality as my mind wanders to Addison, and without a fight I let the painful yet, bitter sweet memories take over my mind as the past, good and bad come rushing down like bolts of soring electricity.

* * *

_August 12th 7:37pm (fifteen months earlier) _

_"James come on I need a shower, you're going to use up all the hot water like you always do." Addison complained as she continued to simultaneously bang on the un-locked bathroom door until she finally opened it and stepped into the bathroom to grab her tooth brush._

_"Hey, I need to make sure my hair looks good." James retorted, poking his head out from behind the shower curtain, water dripping from his hair and onto the floor making a puddle of water._

_"What am I dating a poodle?" Addison says annoyingly referring to her boyfriend's obsession over his appearance, as she takes a dirty towel from the hamper and begins to blot up the mess James just made._

_"Hey now don't be like that. This poodle just so happens to want to look half as good as his girl, of course you could always shower with me." He suggests wiggling his eyebrows before closing the curtain again to continue his shower._

_"You're wasting water mister." She says half-jokingly._

_"Like I said, save water and shower with James Maslow!" He yells victoriously making Addison laugh at his odd behavior._

_"Considering it saves water." Addison giggles before throwing her clothes on top of James' and stepping into the shower, where she is soon engulfed in hot water and strong arms wrapping around her as he presses his lips sweetly to her temple._

* * *

"James….James….JAMES!"

My flashback is cut short when I hear a loud banging on the bathroom door. "I'll be out in a second." I call out to whoever may be outside waiting to get into the bathroom. I turn off the water and wrap a towel around my waist and begin to dry off. I open the door, letting the steam roam through the hallway. I begin to walk out the door but my footsteps stop when I see a short slim figure in front of me wearing a large baggy sweatshirt with no pants on., talk about instant hard on. I didn't even want to begin to guess what Addison had under that shirt…or worse, what she didn't.

I tried to shake the thoughts out of my brain as I slip past her, our hands brush against eachothers the slightest and I try to ignore the burst of emotions and feelings that sore through my entire body like fireworks.

I don't look back, instead I just head back to into our...I mean, my bedroom…well, temporary bedroom to get dressed.

I grab my blue duffle bag and put on a pair of jeans and a dark blue T-shirt followed by a grey zip up sweatshirt, before I put away my bag again I take a plastic zip lock baggy containing dozens of blue and pink pills. I look behind me to make sure no one has come into the room without my knowing, once the coast is clear I turn my attention to the two pills that are resting in the palm of my left hand before I have a chance to think it over I pop the pills into my mouth and down them with a swig of water.

Was this worth the black eye, worth loosing my family, worth lying? For what it's worth, in this moment it was.

But how long will these moments last, a week, a month?

I had so many questions to all of which I had no answer to. When I lost Addison, I gained a new addiction. One of which I'm sure I'll never be proud of.

* * *

So maybe I did lie about the whole argument with my dad, I just didn't want people asking me questions to things I had no real answer to. I mean, my dad and I did argue, but it wasn't for the reason I was telling the others about. It was because he saw my black eye, the black eye is a totally different story and just way to difficult to even begin to explain.

Actually. It really isn't all that difficult.

I basically had gotten into a fight at a bad, no big deal, some things were said, and a few loose punches had been thrown. See no big deal.

I'm perfectly fine to tell the others about the fight, but the one I was fighting with, well that just happen to be Eric, also known as Addison's step brother, did I happen to mention that he's also the guy I've been getting the plastic bag filled with those pills from? Well…that's the one small complication.

I run my fingers through my slightly damped hair before I shove my dufflebag back under the bed to keep my belongings hidden from the others. After I do so, I step out of the room once again and head down the stairs to find everyone else.

"You've had a rough night, I can see." Kendall tells me once I'm standing in the door way of the kitchen. I just nod my head and take a seat next to Carlos on one of the four tall stools that sat at the marble island who had set a plate of eggs –his portion- and toast before himself as he ate and did things on his phone.

"I made coffee this morning, so I made sure Addison stayed away from it, so don't worry, you won't be poisoned or anything." Carlos tells me with a mouth full of food as I begin to pore myself a cup of the hot liquid.

"So listen, Logan and I got to run out and grab some parts for my car so I probably won't be back until like four thirty, I'm not sure what the status is on Addison and Carlos." Kendall explains as he walked to the bottom of the stairs and shouted to Logan to hurry up.

"I'm going with a few buddies to try and get some snowboarding in before the weather goes jank on me and melts all the snow. I think Addison might have mentioned earlier this morning that she was gonna hit up the Y or something." Carlos says, as he gets off the stool and goes to the sink, putting his empty dishes into it.

"Where am I going?" Addison asked as she appeared in the kitchen in a pair of dark wash skinny jeans paired with a pink sweater that was a size too big for her small frame, but it made her even more beautiful if that was even possible. There were traces of make-up on her face –not a lot, just the tasteful amount that girls who knew how to wear make-up put on. Everything about her –her poise, her freshly painted white tipped manicured nails, her small pearl drop earrings, her voice –screamed beautiful.

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**I hope you enjoyed this story, I hope it wasn't too long for you..also, go check out MysteryGirl911's story..it's super cute (;**


	3. Road trip

Guess whose back?! Meeee...also, it'd mean alot if you would check out my new story, called "**Something short of perfect." tis a Logan story..and ****my very first logan story.****.and I'll be posting the first chapter either tomorrow or Friday.**

NOW FOR THE SHOUT OUTS.!

**DeniseDEMD****- his new addiction is..wait for it...wait for it... DRUGS! **** Guest-** **Glad you enjoyed the chapter! ****Carlos'sCupcakes-**** You go girl! I know I was quite shocked he was doing drugs in this story, and I write it, I though it could use some drama. Therefore James becoming an addicted crackwhore does this story some justice. ****Guest-**** My God it's not that hard to figure out, I mean I'm sure you and evreyone else all saw it coming..okay you probably didn't but, hey that's not the point the point is, is that we have a crackwhore on our hands!" ****SuperSillyStories- ****He totes has a pill addiction and he totes is getting them from Addisons brother, you'll learn more about her brother and James' new found addiction in later chapters.**

_**AND FOR ALL YOU SILENT READERS...YOUR AWESOME!...also, it would mean alot if whoever writes fan fiction would maybe put in a good word about this story...huh? huh? huh?...a**__**nd for all you amazing beautiful not so bright people who don't understand where I'm getting at. I want you to tell people about this story..so they will come...and .story..**__**...**_

* * *

I sit in the living room going through my facebook and checking my bank and all the other useless things that didn't need to be handled at this time, but I had to occupy myself. I glance over at the clock, the next four and a half hours because everyone decided to be dicks and leave me alone to fend for myself with James.

Assholes.

I try to keep my eyes from wandering over to the tall figure slumped lazily on the couch switching through various television channels….we have over 500 channels you'd think the moron would find something to keep him occupied I think to myself as I continue to scroll through pointless facebook statuses.

"We should go out and get a coffee or something." I hear James' voice say over the tv that was now showing that useless advertisement of the snoogie. God that advertisement seemed to piss me off every time it replayed. JUST TURN YOUR ROBE AROUND AND PROBLEM SOLVED.

My fingers that were typing various keys on my Mac came to a jarring stop at his words. I look over to him with a questioning look. "Why?" I ask, damn I'm in such a bitchy mood lately; maybe I'm pmsing or something. Chocolate does seem kind of good at the time, yet again, chocolate seems good at all times.

"I don't know, I just thought you'd want to get a coffee or something considering we're here alone and have nothing to do." He states, shrugging his shoulder.

"Correction. You have nothing to do, me, I have plenty to do." Now I'm in full on bitch mode, damn where is that chocolate!

"Yeah, because sitting on your butt all day looking up useless stuff on the internet is considered not bored." He retorts.

Suddenly I hear him cough a little, Damn it he's getting sick. I think to myself.

"Fine, where do you want to go?" I say, shutting my laptop irritably and putting it onto the coffee table next to the various magazines scattered amongst it.

"Chicago?" He asks hopeful

"Chicago? What the fuck?."

"Come on, we used to do it EVERY winter together, it'd be fun! It's only what, six hours drive?" He says

It could be fun, I mean I always loved Chicago in the winter, and I'd hate to end our tradition.

Fat flakes of snow were whirling out of the sky when I stepped out of the house, and I had to trudge through a thick layer of snow to get to my car. James had already made a mini snowman on the trunk. I growled and swiped at it.

"Hey, make yourself useful, James, and get this snow off my car." I tell James.

James just rolled his eyes and started brushing the snow off the front windshield.

"I was gonna make a snow angel," He says, "But then I figured maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to get all wet."

"What the hell James? No, it would not have been a good idea! The last thing I need is for you to be more sick and coughing even more on the way. Actually, get out of the cold entirely. Get in the car."

It took me a few minutes to get the snow off the roof. The falling snow was really starting to pick up and the icy wind bit painfully at my ears. When I got into the car, James was huddled in the passenger seat, his chin tucked into his scarf. '

"I didn't know you cared," was all he said to him.

"Please, never confuse concern for my own mental wellbeing with concern for you. Right now I honestly couldn't care less if you were dying of bronchitis." I say to him.

I reversed the car carefully and then pulled out into the snowstorm. I had to grind my teeth to keep from yelling in frustration. The snow could add hours to making downtown, which in normal weather would only last us maybe twenty minutes. And what if the snow was so bad that we couldn't make the journey home? Oh dear God, I would have to share a hotel room with….._him._

"I wish I had my hat."

"Damn it James, I'm warning you. Not one more sound."

He began coughing violently.

I groaned.

We were ten minutes into our journey to get coffee when I began to recognize James' genius in thinking up this scheme: Plan A: I died of a sudden heart attack caused by irritation at his incessant coughing. Plan B: We were both killed by the blizzard now whipping around the car. Or Plan C: I was so irritated by James' incessant coughing that I lost concentration and the car went out of control in the snowstorm, and, of course, we were both killed.

"Evil son of a bitch, I can't wait to, James, could you quit that hacking for five goddamn seconds?"

"Sorry," he rasped. "Hey, do you have any water?"

"No."

"Can we stop for some?"

"No."

This was ridiculous. Half an hour inching up the highway and we still hadn't gotten anywhere. I couldn't see a thing through the blinding snow, but I was going to have turn around. It was just too crazy to try driving in this snow for one more minute. If you weren't careful, the snow could hypnotize you…the millions of patterns formed by the flakes, the thousands of swirling vortexes…all had a strange beauty…

"Look out!" James yelled.

I realized that I'd been doing the very thing I'd been trying to avoid: letting myself get lost in the snow dancing outside the windshield. Now the car was veering dangerously towards the edge of the road, out of control…and then I felt the car hit a patch of ice and we were suddenly spinning wildly. The brakes screeched, James was yelling, I was probably yelling too, but I was focused on locking the steering wheel and mentally cursing him to hell. I couldn't see a thing through the whirling snowflakes, couldn't even tell which way we were facing. And then the ice was gone, but we were slipping down a steep incline at the side of the road, being viciously bumped and jolted. There was one moment of piercing, terrifying clarity, when I thought the car was going to turn over, but it didn't. We simply veered rapidly down the incline, skidded at the bottom…I felt momentary relief as I realized we were slowing down but then…

BANG.

There was an ear-deafening crash and I was thrown forward in my seatbelt as I felt the car buckle around something with a thousand tiny groans and a lot of shattering. There was a torturous creaking and squealing from the car, which died away, bit by bit, until there was silence. Once the ringing in my ears had ceased slightly, the sound of the wind and snow howling around the car reached me.

I realized that I had forgotten to breath and inhaled shakily. I carefully flexed my muscles; nothing seemed to hurt. I exhaled, and then remembered James. I looked around at him. He was hanging forward in his seatbelt, his mouth open, his eyes blank. Fear as I had never known it flooded my stomach, made bile rise in my throat. I grabbed his arm. "James? James, are you all right? Say something."

He sneezed.

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**I don't know how I feel about this chapter, I thought that this story could use a little bit of humor...if you didn't think it was funny I understand...not alot of people think I'm funny anyways, but i pray to God you at LEAST smiled at my attempt to be funny :p**


	4. Back seat snuggling

**Guest **– Glad you thought it was funny**! SuperSillyStories**- Yayyy! I'm glad you thought it was well written, because I've been in love with your writing since..asdfghjkl i don't even know when, so it really means alot, and also, I think we all feel bad for the way Addison is treating the poor guy, but good for him for being a sweet heart and not causing drama…yet,maybe they will warm up in the back seat, you never know with these two. **winterschild11-** Good grief in deed, thank you for the review it really helps me continue with the story knowing people like you enjoy it :D – ** - **What do you mean atleast he's a live, for all we know the air bag could suddenly go off in this chapter and somehow he'll break his neck and DIE…naww I'm just kitten…get it..kitten. I love kittens! ^_^ **Carlos'sCupcake-** Why are all of you reviewers assuming he's not dead…we don't know that..well actually, I do, but that's not the point thanks for the review! **DenisDEMD-** YAY A REVIEWER THAT IS QUESTIONING IF JAMES IS ALIVE OR NOT..I LOVE YOU!

* * *

Thank you for the wonderful reviews! Don't forget to look at my many other stories I have.

The engine kept stuttering for what seemed to be for the thousandth time. I groan and let my head fall onto the steering wheel in defeat. "My car." I say in a depressed tone.

"It's not like we could've gotten very far, anyway, I mean your car is a piece of crap." James points out

"James, you're doing that thing again."

"What thing?"

"Talking." I straightened up and stared straight ahead through the wind sheild, gripping the steering wheel, gazing absently at the whirling snow and the dark shape of the tree that we'd hit.

"Uh…Addison?"

"One more word and you die." I whipped my head towards him and fixed an insane grin on my face. "Shall we consider our situation? We are trapped in a broken-down car in a godforsaken no man's land, with no apparent signs of habitation. Neither of us can get a signal on our cell phones. We are in the middle of a snowstorm that might last for days, and we have no food or warmth. Oh, and we are trapped with each other, which might be a dream come true for you, James, but is in fact my own worst nightmare, because, as you know, I truly despise you. Now what have you got to say to that?"

"It's not that bad."

I blinked.

James shrugged impatiently. "Fine. Let's go back to the highway and try hitch a ride home."

"Haven't you noticed, sweetheart, that with all this snow we're more likely to be hit by the very car we're trying to hitch a ride off? Of course, it would be a preferable death to this slow, painful one." I retorted back coldly.

'Well, that's all I've got,' He snapped and let his head fall back, his eyes closing. I studied him. He really did look sick: his face was exhausted and pale and dark circles ringed his eyes. It made me feel a tiny bit better that at least he was feeling more crap than I was.

There was a silence for about five minutes, then he sighed. "Have you got any other ideas?"

I grimaced. "No. Let's go."

James glanced at me once and reached for the door handle. I realized that climbing out into a blizzard wouldn't be the best thing for his condition.

* * *

My first mistake had been driving off into a snowstorm. My second mistake was getting out of the car into the snowstorm.

The snow whirled thicker than I could have imagined, and stung my face in a thousand different places. I could see nothing but the blinding white snow in all directions and Newbie, who was a dark shape struggling beside me. I couldn't even hear the crunch of my feet as I sank ankle deep into the snow with every step; the howling of the wind in my ears drowned out all other noise.

My third mistake was just being so damn stupid.

Once we got out of the car, I tugged James's sleeve and we set off in the direction I thought the highway was. But after ten minutes of stumbling through the snow, it became abundantly clear that we should have reached the highway long before now. We'd only skidded down away from the road in the car for a short bit.

"We're going back to the car." I shouted. "At least we'd have a chance of actually surviving this" I wasn't sure if he could even hear me, but I saw him nod and we both turned and headed back the way we'd come

Or at least, the way I thought we'd come. We'd only been walking back for five minutes when the panic I hadn't been allowing myself to feel, ever since I realized there was no way we were going to find the road, swept through me. If we couldn't find the way back to the highway, how were we ever going to find our way back to the damn car?

James stumbled beside me. Over the moan of the wind, I could dimly hear him coughing. I caught his upper arm in a tight grip and paused until the coughing fit had passed.

"All right?" We were both huddled forward, our foreheads practically pressed together in order to hear each other, but now wasn't quite the time to nag James about the close proximity.

'Yeah,' He shouted weakly.

We pressed on through the tiny, stinging snowflakes for another ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. We were probably going around in circles, or else heading further out into the wilderness. We were going to die out here. Well, James might die first because he was sick and generally an all-round weakling. I could take his clothes then and maybe I would live long enough to find help.

Thirty minutes. I had never let go of James's arm, but now it suddenly slipped away from me, taking me by surprise. I spun around. James had fallen, and was lying on his side in the snow, coughs shaking his entire body. I knelt and hauled him into a sitting position, supporting him until, again, the coughs had died away.

I tried to pull him up but his fingers grasped feebly at my coat. "Not yet… I can't…just a minute.." he gasped.

"Goddamn you!" I growled, letting go of him and getting to my feet. I stood there for a minute, squinting into the snow. I guessed one minute standing here wasn't going to make a difference to another minute walking aimlessly nowhere. Yet now that I had stopped to think about it, yet more panic set in. Since going this way wasn't getting us anywhere, I was going to have to pick another direction, and it was a chance in a million that it would lead us to the car. Should I go left? Or right? Or towards that…dark shape?

The car.

Never taking my eyes off the car, fearing it was a hallucination and would disappear if I so much as blinked, I crouched, slipped one arm around James's waist, yanked him to his feet and began dragging him towards the car. He was still coughing and shuddering against me, hardly able to walk, but I ignored him and concentrated on getting us both through the snow, one step at a time, until finally we had reached the car. I pulled open the passenger door, threw James in by his neck, and fought my way to my own side, finally able to clamber in and slam the door on the shrieking nightmarish world outside.

After a moment of simply sitting there gasping, I became aware of a few things. Painful things.

"Aargh, my ears!"

Not to mention my hands, which were bright red and totally numb. Also, now that the stinging snow was no longer a problem, it was time for me to acknowledge the fact that the air in the car was frigid and that I was soaked through.

James was wheezing when I looked over at him. His face was almost frighteningly white, and he was shaking so violently that the whole car trembled with him.

More silence. It was strange: the wind and snow howling and buffeting at the car was loud, yet it seemed almost utterly silent and still in this grey, cold, enclosed world of ours.

"This sucks." James's voice cracked slightly.

I opened my mouth, about to berate him for being such a girl, but then I realized how utterly crappy he must be feeling right now. I supposed that for once I could be slightly humane and try to take his mind off it.

"Wanna hear something terrific?"

"What?" he said apprehensively.

"Turns out the best way for two people to avoid being cold is to snuggle." I bared my teeth at him. "What do you make of that?"

He laughed once, in an embarrassed way. "Wait, I have heard that." He grinned

"Yeah, and I know you wouldn't be one to complain or oppose to that," I say.

"I'm gonna need more than cough drops,' I heard him mumble. "I have some in my duffel bag in the front side zipper."

I get onto my knees and climbing to the back seat to retrieve his pack of Hals cough drops, i begin shifting through a few various items until I see a small baggy which I assume are the cough drops. But I squint in confusion when I see more than two dozen pink and blue capsules. I decided to keep my curiosity at back until we get home to ask about the capsules, so i just put them back and keep looking for the cough medicine. No more then thirty seconds later I'm pulling out a small plastic package with the Hals in them. I take a couple out before I zip the duffel back up and get back into the drivers seat.

"Here." I say, handing the two cough drops to James.

"There's a couple sweatshirts and small blanket in there also." Is all he responds.

I grab the duffel bag again before pulling out two large heavy sweatshirts and a very small blanket. I pass him both sweatshirts but when I do he just gives me a confused look.

"The second one if for you." He says, handing back one of them.

"Thanks." Is all I can get out before I feel like a total jerk. Here we are in this freezing car and I've been nothing but a bitch to him, yet, he hasn't complained or been a jerk back to me.

"What were you saying about the snuggling?" He asks, a small smile forms on his lips.

I fight back the smile that wants to appear on my face before I climb into the back seat and tell him to come over, soon we're both lying down,part of his body is up right against the back door, which means his head is on the cold glass of the back window, and his legs, just long enough to reach the other door and I'm snuggled into the crook of his neck and he has both his arms wrap around my waist as the blanket lays on top of both of our bodies keeping what ever body heat we have left trapped between us.

I turned my attention to the window where his feet are and I begin watching the snow again. The flakes made tiny icy splotches wherever they hit the glass. The snow was a distraction. It helped to take my mind off our predicament, James condition, the way how close we are at this moment. It was absolutely killing me to know how close we were to the highway, but there was no way I was getting out of the car again.

I'd told James we'd be out of here "soon", but how soon was soon? An hour? A day? More? What could happen in the space of a few days? How hungry would we get? How bored would we get? Would we both freeze to death? How much worse would James get? It was hardly likely that he'd get over his cold in these conditions. Because that's all it was. A cold. Nothing more. It couldn't be.

I realized that James's breathing, while still rough, was less labored. Glancing up at him, I saw that his head had lolled to one side and his eyes were closed. I shook him. "James! James! wake up!"

His eyelids fluttered rapidly for about ten seconds before he focused on me. Why the hell was it taking him so long to wake up? I leaned back a little so that he could see me more clearly.

"It's probably not the greatest of idea's to fall asleep while you're cold. C'mon, you have to stay awake."

He moaned, rolling his head from side to side in irritation. His eyelids were still drooping. "I'm tired though." he complained. "And I can't stay awake forever."

That was true. I sighed. It would be highly frustrating to try to keep him awake right now. I didn't have the energy for it.

"Fine. You can sleep. Then I'm going to wake you up and you'd better stay awake, dammit. No arguments. Got it?"

"Whatever," he muttered, only a minute passed before I heard his painful breathing even out slightly.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed. Most likely a few hours. The snow hadn't eased any and I definitely hadn't got any warmer. In fact, I was much, much colder and was shivering violently. The cold seemed to penetrate all the way to my bones. I couldn't recall the sensation of warmth at all. I couldn't imagine ever being warm again. I closed my eyes, trying to fight the sleep that was trying to over come my body, but I let it win without a fight and I was soon cast into my own sleep, lying against James.

* * *

**SORRY I'VE BEEN HAVING MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK!**  
**asdfghjkl Awwww they're snugglin' ^_^ Oh cuteeeee...oh and if you have any ideas..any ideas what so ever MESSAGE ME OR REVIEW AND TELL ME THEM**


	5. I'll be back

Hello beautiful readers! I'm here to give you yet another chapter of this story!

_**Guest-**_** I know right, snuggling how cute! And yes! Kudos to James for not dieing *claps enthusiastically* I have to agree, I don't think James would be very happy to see if Addison got hit by a car, he'd be quiet sad really. ****_SuperSillyStories_**** - ****I can't wait to see how they get out of the predicament either because as of right now, I have no clue how they'll get out! I'm still trying to think of a realistic way they'll get out, I don't want some stupid idea like right before James is about to die the car will start up and they get home safely. I want it to be more realistic even though this is a fictional story, get what I'm saying girl? Maybe I'll just kill them off. No, I won't do that because that would be a very shitty ending. ****_Annabellex2_****_-_**** James does have a lot of explaining doesn't he. But first things first they need to get out of the god forsaken car and get help...THAN Addison can nail him with questions and be a big ol' nagging girl haha. ****_Carlos'sCupcake-_**** Well darn, don't let them die..seriously? I was actually really thinking of having them die..well atleast one of them. But I guess considering you don't want that to happen I won't let it. And your idea is wonderful in fact I'm going to use it! I love your brilliant ideas you're seriously a life saver! ********_Winterschild11- _****I literally have no idea what "peach of a person" means. So I looked it up on google and got some weird results. But whatever that means. I hope it's a good thing LOL. ****_ ._**** - Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to sit down and stay calm, naw I'm just kidding if I was a reader I'd be flaring my arms all around..sooooo *flares arms all over the place well I dramatically sigh* (;**

**I want to thank each and every one of you guys who review..and thank you to the silent readers! I love checking my email and seeing a new review. I get really excited and just..I have no words to explain how much I enjoy it other then I feel like a kid on Christmas morning (: ****_AND IF YOU WANT..YOU CAN MENTION THIS STORY! IT'D REALLY MEAN ALOT IF YOU DID! IF NOT, I STILL LOVE YOU_**

**-SPECIAL THANKS TO CARLOS'SCUPCAKE FOR THE AMAZINGLY GREAT IDEA SHE GAVE ME FOR THIS CHAPTER-**

* * *

I awoke only minutes later, my chest heaving and my fingers burned from the cold. I looked around as realization hit me. It wasn't a dream. We really are stuck in my car in the middle of know where freezing.

I looked up and saw James open his eyes a little and looked at me. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." I lied.

"Just go back to sleep, I'll stay up and watch to see if any cars go by." He mumbles

I shake my head, shrugging the blanket up to my chin "I don't think that I can." I whisper.

James was still for a moment. "You had a nightmare."

"Yes."

He relaxed his posture, pulling me a little closer to him now, one arm wrapping around my middle. Somehow my hand found his and our fingers linked together under the blanket. "Tell me about it." He whispered

"I don't really feel comfortable talking about it."

He sighed against the back of my neck. "Was it about your parents?" Once the words came out his mouth my whole entire body began tensing, giving him the answer. "Addison, it's been two years. Haven't they gotten better?" He questioned, referring to the night mares.

"I don't know, sometimes they do get better, but other times they get worse."

Silence fell between both of us. His thumb absentmindedly rubbed the back of my hand, eventually slowing to a stop as his weight leaned against my own. He was falling back asleep. I knew how much he needed his sleep and felt somewhat bad for waking him up. I felt worse when I reminded myself about the times when we _were_ together that he had stayed awake as long as he had because he wanted to help comfort me.

I leaned back against him . "Go back to sleep," I whispered.

"No," he replied as he looked down at her face in the little light that the world gave him as he began drawing her closer to him. "Now." He began to say. I could tell it was taking a lot of willpower for him to stay awake, let alone speak. "What's keeping you up?"

For a few moments, I didn't speak, I just stared at him, once again taking in his features. "Were you and that girl you use to date close? Before?" I asked, I'm not sure why I started talking in third person, maybe because I was so shy suddenly.

He bit his lip, seeming to wake up a bit more at her question, when she asked if the girl he was with before were close, he finally caught on that the _girl_ she was talking about was _herself_. After staring across the window blankly for a few seconds, he replied, "Yeah. And you know what I really loved about her, the way that she was always tender, kind. She would sometimes talk to me about things I didn't quite understand."

I grabbed his hand. "Like that new pair of shoes she saw at the mall that she couldn't stop talking about?"

He brought our hands up to his face, touching my knuckles with his lips. "Like the shoes she saw at the mall. She was always like that. She seemed flawless. She wasn't, of course." He very nearly laughed, his eyes far away. "She could pout like nobody else." he added, giving Addison a weak smile.

My face grew hot. Not only because he was calling me out on my own fault, but because it was times like this I really missed.

"Do you miss her very much?"

"Every day." He coughed, but this cough was different then the other millions of coughs, he sat up quickly, grabbing a Kleenex from the box sitting on the floor as blood began to trickle from his mouth.

"Eff." Was all James could get out before I realized that I would have to go out and try to find help. The only other option was to continue sitting in the SUV, waiting for someone to spot my car. In a few hours, we would both have hypothermia. And James would die first.

I felt fear begin rise up, but I began attempting to maintain calm. There was no other option. I wasn't capable of sitting around helplessly while James's life was in danger. I'd get help for him, even though I was aware that it _could_ be the last thing I ever do.

It'd be worth it.

"You're not going to like this," James cautioned, interrupting my ramblings. "I'm going out," I told him.

"The snow's stopped, so I'll be able to see where I'm going, and plus the snow emergency vehicles should be starting to clear the road. If I walk towards the highway, I'm bound to run into one sooner or later and then-"

"I'm coming too then," He interrupted quickly.

I sighed, expecting this. James's body was tensed up in anticipation of an argument. I rubbed his knuckle back soothingly in an attempt to calm him down.

"No you're not James," I told him softly. "As much as you hate to admit it, you're in more danger than I am. I have a much better chance out there. There's no room for argument here."

I need to do this.

I knew that James hated me for that little piece of logic. It was the one thing I knew he wouldn't argue against. I felt his back rise and fall as James let out a ragged breath. I let myself savor our closeness, promising myself it wouldn't be the last time he held me. I took a deep breath to brace myself before loosening his arms around my body.

Once I was about to open the door I felt James hand tug on my own.

"Addison wait!" He exclaimed.

I turned and to my surprise, I launched myself into his letting him tell me what he wanted to tell me. Instead I spoke. "I hate this," I confessed thickly, my voice muffled by James' heavy sweat shirt. He stroked my hair, a sad smile on his face.

"I know you do," he told me. "I know."

After a moment I gently loosened my arms from around him, hating myself for it. James pulled back, but didn't let go of my grip on my forearm.

"Addison, just promise me you'll-" James began, my voice uncharacteristically anxious.

"I'll be back, okay?" I interrupted quickly. I could feel the tears begin to blur my vision but that didn't stop me from talking. I just pushed back the pain in his eyes and kept talking. "Everything is going to be fine."

* * *

**Not many reviews for the last chapter, any of you wonderful people mind mentioning this story? I'll give you a virtual cookie if you do :D **


	6. Smart Girl

Thank you for all the awesome reviews! It really keeps me motivated knowing you like it.!

**SuperSillyStories-**** I have to agree, they did share a pretty cute moment (: ****Guest1-**** Yes...I really did end the chapter and left you hanging, please don't hate me *hides under bed*. ****Carlos'sCupcake-**** Aww why thank you deary, I'm glad they're getting close, they really have nothing else to do, I mean they're stuck in a car for gods sakes and in a snowstorm..they mine as well talk a little bit (; And thank you much for giving me a shout out *hugs* ****winterschild11-**** I know she's such a sweetheart, I'd save him in a heartbeat! ****annabellex -**** And a very cute moment might I add, don't worry there is many more moments to come. ****Guest2-**** Why thank you deary, I'm glad you found this story as well. ****Guest3-**** I don't know how much to thank you, I'm glad you're liking the story so much, hopefully this chapter will be just as good as the last.**

**Keep the reviews coming I love what you guys say and I read each and everyone! They mean more to me than chocolate...(and I really love chocolate)**

**This is probably the shortest chapter ever..my apologizes! I promise next update will be longer! xoxo**

* * *

It was cold. It was really cold, so cold that it hurt. I held my coat over my stinging face, squinting my eyes against the burning cold. I wasn't sure how long I've been walking. It seemed like ages ago that I had left James.

I swore loudly as I nearly slipped on the surface of the icy snow. I had already fallen twice and the brutal wind cut through the damp portions of clothing as though I were wearing nothing at all. It was dark out, but there was a slight sliver of moon that reflected off the snow enough to allow myself to see where I was going.

My mind was beginning to feel as numb as my very own body. I seemed to feel slow and stupid, my motions uncoordinated like a drunks. Feeling a soothing wave of sleepiness tempting me, I fought to focus my mind, even though I was failing rapidly.

_Think about James…_ I began to tell myself through the haze that clouded my mind. _Think about Kendall and the other two boys._

Conjuring up clear images of their faces in my mind, I had managed to quicken my slow pace slightly. My breathing was rapid and exhausted and each breath was like daggers as I inhaled the icy air. I squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

When I opened my eyes, I thought momentarily that the cold had somehow caused me to go blind, as all could see was white light. But then my eyes adjusted and I realized that I could still see the snowy world around myself. The light was coming from straight ahead of me.

Headlights.

I realized numbly as I faintly heard the slamming of car doors and the sound of men shouting. Dazed, I stared into the headlights. It wasn't until I felt hands on my arms yanking me to my feet that I had realized I had fallen to my knees. Feeling tremendously confused, I allowed myself to be hauled into the seat of the snow plow.

The plow doors slammed shut and I was struck by the sudden absence of freezing air.

"You still with us?" a loud voice asked, shaking me roughly by the shoulder.

I fumbled in my mind for the words to reply.

"Uhh," I replied intelligently.

I felt myself being stripped of my outer, damp layer of clothing and then my body being manipulated into a thick coat, still warm from body heat.

"We need to get him to the hospital dad," a young man's voice said. "She's barely conscious."

The older man gave a shake of his head for agreement and I heard the revving of the engine. A tendril of panic crept up in my chest. This was all wrong.

"Wait!" I choked, flinging my arm out. "James," I gasped finally.

"What?" the old man bleated.

"Someone's still out there," the other man said, sounding anxious.

I began to doze slightly as he felt the vehicle go forward in the correct direct, oblivious to the two men's attempts to keep me awake. When I saw the blurry lights of the flares against the white snow I smiled. I then heard the door open and close as the younger man exited the vehicle to retrieve James.

I waited, fighting off the overwhelming urge to sleep.

The door opened once again, and the young man re-entered the vehicle alone.

"Where's James?" I asked, my voice slurred almost to the point of incoherency.

The young man shook his head slowly as he watched the stranger next to him fight unconsciousness.

"The cold must be making this chick delusional," the son said. "There was no one in there."

I could feel the tears creeping up in the back of my eyes. "Wh..what?" I ask not being able to keep my composure as a stream of tears fall from my eyes.

"There is no one in their, I think the cold has gotten to you, we really need to bring you to the hospital." The boy replied back to me.

"Not without James." I reasoned back getting out of the car and into the cold air limping towards my car

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" I heard the older guy yell to me.

Once I got to the car I swung the door open. "No…God please..no." I whisper clutching my hand to my mouth as I saw no sign of James.

I soon felt two sets of arms on me pushing me backwards. "Let go of me, I need to find him, I need to find James." I said fighting to get free from their grasps but it didn't work, I was soon lifted into the car other car as the older guy started it up and began to drive the other direction of where we came and to the hospital as I cried.

"Dad, slow down I think I see someone!" The boy in the passanger seat yelled making the dad stop as I saw a figure lying motionless in the snow.

James.

As the car came close to him Addison could see his face, there on the ground layed James. His eyes were closed, and his face was still, terribly still. She ran out of the car and to him.

His body was cold.

She moved him, dragging him out of the snow and onto the road, then gathered him into her arms. James hadn't reslonded when she had touched him.

Now she ran her hands over her shoulders and deathly cold face, smoothing back his unusually dark brown hair. His cheeks were white with small bits of snow, but when she wiped it away the snow with the back of her hand, there was red beneath, and blood.

"Please, God, no," She whispered with her empty voice, putting her wet cheeks down to his face. "You can't leave me, you were never supposed to leave me."

Addison tried to move him further from the snow but as she did so, his face suddenly spasmed and he winched in pain but didn't cry out. Now she called his name, but there was no further response. She put her hands on his rough cheeks.

"James," She whispered huskily. "You can't die now. Please."

His chest rose and he gave a deep sigh that was cut off halfway down and he coughed slightly.

"Why not?" his voice came wearily. There was a faint smile on his face, but his eyes were still closed.

She laughed at him, even as she cried, pressing her fingers into his deathly cold hands. "If you love me, then don't die."

His fingers reached upwards and grasped hers, and tightened his grip which was surprisingly strong, but his voice was fainter. "If I love you?"

"You do." She whispered, brushing aside his hair. " I know you do."

"Smart girl," She thought she heard him say, but his voice drifted away, and that was the last he spoke.

* * *

**_Oh daaayyy-uhhmmmm! That was a crazy chapter..Hmmmm, I wonder if James is alive or not.. (; I'm such a bitch for ending it here! I know you still love me though…right? REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HATE ME FOR GIVING YOU THIS HORRIBLE CLIFF HANGER! sorry for the short chapter again! I promise the next one will be longer (;_**


	7. Comedies and Tragedies

**SuperSillyStories-**** I know I feel terrible for leaving a cliff hanger and not updating in forever don't fret my dear you'll find out if the drug addict is okay or not (: **

**Winterschil11-**** Oh James indeed…hahaha! I hope you liked the chapter (; **

**Carlos'sCupcake-**** Hahaha I'm glad you were freaking out, it makes my writing seem a little suspenseful with a small dash of angst. **

** –**** *puffs out chest holding breath* I'm not afraid of you! Come at me bro!*runs and hides under my blankets for protection***

**_Not many reviews this chapter, but that's okay I still love you!_**

**_Sorry for the lack of updates I was sick, and when I was better, I had lots of stuff I had to do, also guess whose birthday is in 8 days? Mineeeee…. so give me an early birthday gift by reviewing and giving shout outs to my many stories? (: It'd make me really happy…please? (;_**

* * *

Shakespeare's comedies, I knew, usually ended with a wedding song and dance, and his tragedies ended with funerals. I'm not quite sure how this story would end –as a comedy or a tragedy, or a mixture of both.

James and I were both admitted to the hospital mere moments after finding James laying in the bitter white snow unresponsive of the world around him.

"Are you sure he'll be okay?" I ask the doctor as he hooks me up to several monitors to check my vitals.

"He's a miracle of survival, I can tell you that," the doctor responded as he placed an oxi pulse onto my left hands pointer finger before he took out his clip board and jotting down various numbers and words, most of which I had no clue of what the meanings meant. "We're doing everything we possibly can Ms. Evans, the only thing we can do now is hope for the best."

After the doctor re-checked everything and left the room, I sank back into my hospital bed, looking out the window, my eyes moist with none fallen tears. If James didn't survive, I doubt my heart would. And I knew for once, I wasn't being over dramatic.

* * *

_James_

For a long time he drifted into nothingness, barely aware of his continued existence. When he did become conscious of it, his first reaction was weary annoyance, and he decided not to pay much attention to it. Too much to do. That is, too much sleeping to do. James tried to remember what exactly was going through his mind of his when he had deliberately ignored Addison's wishes to stay in the car moments before she herself, willingly took the dangerous plunge and set out into the snowstorm alone hoping beyond hope to find someone to help the two. The very last thing he remembered before ending up in a hospital hooked up to wires was reaching into the back seat and retrieving his blue duffle and taking the last remaining pills, and setting out into the cold blustering snow as well.

He wasn't sure if he was trying to prove something to himself or to Addison when he set out into the coldness, all he knew was that he needed to by her side and needed to know if she was safe from harms way.

James also wondered if his doctor gone over his head and given him a dose of something to make him so sleepy when he was unaware. How like the medical profession, he thought. Over- prescribing playing God, keeping people alive who should have just been allowed to die…or at least to sleep.

_I'm not making any sense. I should just stop thinking and go back to sleep. _He told himself_. What are you still awake? You're not thinking about that girl again are you? Addison, Addison Marie Evans, she must've been the one responsible for this._ He was sure it was probably all her fault somehow.

Now he was joking. He hoped she could see that. Smiling he headed back to unconsciousness.

* * *

_Addison_

"When can I go and see him?" I asked Kendall.

Kendall, who hadn't stopped smiling since he had first seen me again, said, looking up from his phone, "Soon. I'll ask the nurse." Just then the nurse came in, and I repeated my question.

"As soon as the doctor says you can get up," the nurse assured me. She was a friendly blonde haired girl, probably around Kendall's age.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Once the question was asked, Kendall sent a small smirk towards me, making myself flush in embarrassment for a few seconds. "Not exactly." I pondered. "Funny, on the one hand, it's not a serious as that, and on the other hand, it's far more serious."

"I see," the blonde nurse replied with a wink at me and Kendall both. "Well, as far as I know, he hasn't woken up yet. But he's got some pretty heavy painkillers from that fall he had on the ice."

When Kendall and the nurse both left, I gazed around the room at my very own personal garden –nearlyahalf –dozen flower arrangements, most of them roses of various colors. Once again, I felt a mixture of sadness and pleasure at being alive once again. Life could go on, with its joys and pain coming piece by piece, sometimes together like a flood.

* * *

_James_

At last, grudgingly, he consented to wake up. Not that he had much of a choice. Bodies were like that.. All at once, they got an idea in them and then there was no stopping them. Reluctantly, he blinked at the world around him, decided he didn't think much of it, and that he preferred to go away again. He closed his eyes.

Granted, there was nothing particularly attractive about the ICU ward of a hospital, even if you were in perfect health, which he was positive he wasn't, to put it mildly. After taking in the tubes and monitors, and medical paraphernalia around him, he decided he would rather not know, and forced himself back to sleep. Fortunately, it cam again easily.

From time to time, he was aware of people talking around him, but he wasn't yet interested in other people. He was still dealing with the idea of still being alive, and that was enough of a stretch. _I suppose I'll just have to get used to it,_ he told himself. _Somehow again._

* * *

_Addison_

Finally seeing him, the first shock was his face. It was beyond pale, it seemed doubly unnatural. The second shock was, of course, the IV and tubes, which surrounded him. But I was glad he was here, still breathing, still existing, and not in the ground ten feet under. I reach a careful hand in and around the tubes and stroke his face with a finger. James twitched and frowned a little, but didn't respond further. Smiling, I sigh and withdraw my hand. Further waiting.

* * *

James

At some point he became aware of a cool light above and to the left of him. For a long time, it failed to interest him, but at long last James tried to focus on it. He turned his head towards it, and opened his eyes. It was a dim, curtained light –sunlight?

Suddenly he became aware of the rest of his body and the sensation was not pleasant. While there wasn't any sharp pain, he became aware that his feet and chest were almost completely immobile. Panicking suddenly, James tried to sit up and discovered his hands, at least, were free. Relieved, he sank back down into what he recognized must be a bed, and lifted up his hands to inspect them. They looked normal other than the fact they had a few scrapes here and there, probably from when he fell. As for his ankle – he glanced downwards and recognized the bulky shape of a cast. Well, that wasn't unexpected. He sighed, and became aware of someone else other than himself in the room. James looked to the left, and saw a dark blonde haired figure reading a book. The man looked up at him, and smiled. It was Kendall. He looked as though he had gotten no more than an hours sleep, but he was smiling.

"Well buddy, you managed to shock everyone concerned by once again turning up alive."

Did I?" James asked, feeling his head which he discovered, had a bandage on the back of it. "How did I manage that?"

"I'm not so sure. A compound fracture on your right ankle, severe frost bite, a broken rib, lung trauma from breathing in so much cold air for more than 12 hours, and a pretty good concussion. You've also got a god awful ugly swollen eye, and let's not forget multiple bruises. So what happen? I got a text from Addison saying you guys were going for a road trip to Chicago. She told me it was be a simple road trip and the worst that could happen to you two would be to gain a few pounds from the pizza. I know for a fact, that falling on ice would never give you this many broken and screwed up bones. Did someone do this to you before Addison found you? I mean, You have a knack for making people extremely mad at you, don't you?"

James grinned at Kendall's teasing even as he grimaced at the list of his injuries.

"How is Addison?" The normal talk with Kendall had snapped him back fully into reality, and he remembered everything that had seemed disjointed or senseless for the past few days. Including Addison.

"She's fine. Highly impatient and anxious to see you, might I add."

James had to smile, even though the emotions that came over him abruptly. "I'd like to see her too," He said, "when it's time."

"Look, I don't want to tire you. The doctor said you really should be resting. She didn't even want me to discuss your injuries with you, but I know you'd rather know."

"That's right," He said, although he was exhausted again. "Well, I'm glad she's okay." James blinked, and his eyelids refused stubbornly to remain open again.

"Well, I should let you get some rest. You need it."

Yeah," James said, and was asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Addison

"James, are you still asleep?" I asked. James who was still among the most frustrating personals I had ever known didn't respond. Sighing, I put my hand on my chin and leaned over him, gazing at him.

He was looking better. His skin was a more normal color. The nurse had said he still hadn't eating anything, but probably would sometime today. Now my eyes travel slowly over his slightly altered profile and complexion –his nose seemed to be broken, and there was a dark red spot over his eye. Perhaps right now no one would describe him as handsome, except myself. But then again I am incorrigible, she reminded herself.

I sighed deeply, and hummed her usual tine, a but forlornly, turned back to her room.

* * *

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